Psychic Readings at the AARP Water Aerobic Classes

Momma and the AARP's have started taking daily water aerobic classes at Patterson Park in the 'Boro each morning at 8:00 a.m. Virginia Ann's doctor told her that she needed to have knee replacement surgery. She is determined not to go under the knife, so she's on a weight loss kick. Because of her bad knees, her only real exercise option is water aerobics, so the AARP's have been going for a few weeks now. They've been trying to get me to come. I tell them, "I already work out 2 hours a day with my jogging, and I really do have to actually work occasionally." I am a little curious about it, though. I felt like there was a blog in it, somehow.

The AARP's are an energetic and fun crew, and they are always on the lookout for new members. They know all the little old ladies and men that frequent the class now. Momma tells stories about them; I feel like I already know some of them, and I really won't be surprise if a few show up at our Thanksgiving dinner.

I've heard lots of stories about Tina. She is usually beside of Momma in the line-up. Tina has lost 30 pounds. She goes to do weight training after the aerobics class each day. Well, today Momma casually says, "Tina's sister, Sis, sees things when she's walking down the hall." My interest was peeked by this statement, so I prod further. "Well, she sees ghosts," Momma answers. "She talks to ghosts?" I ask. "Oh, no, she doesn't talk to them; she just sees them." As it turns out, Sis's deceased brother talks to her all the time, but she won't talk back to him – she prefers having conversions with the living. The spirits also tend to be a little more bothersome to her when she interacts with them. I'm sure her brother must be slightly irked, though.

Now, I believe Momma should have STARTED OUT with this story if she really wanted me to go to the water aerobic classes. She clearly has no sense of marketing. I think I'm going to tell the AARP's that if they can get Sis to the class, I'll be there promptly at 8:00 a.m. I know Renee wants to know if all rabbits go to heaven, and I've got questions about how to get my carb-eating ghost, Antonio, to use the dishwasher. This may be beyond Sis's expertise, but I'd also love to know why all roosters seem to hate me and usually delight in flogging me (a burning question for a farm girl). Feel free to post any questions you might have from the beyond . . . I'll be happy to pose them to Sis.