As I was leaving church yesterday, my preacher shook my hand and said, "How are you, Little Red Riding Hood?" That's all I've ever known him to call me. It got me to thinking about names. My mother, in her best impersonation of a sheep, decided to give me the EXACT same name as an older first cousin in the same small town. I can only attribute such an act of cruelty to postpartum depression.
Most people in my life have never spoken my legal name. I don't hate the name, Jennifer, per se, it has just never felt like my own. I have been plagued my entire life, even in adulthood, with nicknames. Here are just a few that I remember: Sapphire, Jenni, Jen, Jenni Belle, Peanut Jr., Baby Powder, Chicken Legs, Little Red Riding Hood, Peppermint Patty, Victoria, Ji Ji, Red, Muffin Stump (I refuse to explain some of these!)
My grandfather called me Sapphire until the day he died. I don't believe he ever forgave my mother for not making that my legal name. I'll have to agree with my grandfather. Not only did a close relative share the same name, but 75% of women in my age group ALSO share the same first name. I, therefore, have been intrigued with interesting names my entire life.
I come from a large, nosy, Southern family, and my aunts view unpropagating members such as myself as the gravest of sinners. Thankfully, they've stopped asking about my "condition" since I said that I planned on naming my first born Arnold Arnold Arnold.
Here are some of my all-time favorite names:
1. Shermetta Renee Schwendimann
2. Ima Rose Bush (say it out loud)
3. William Williams (although, he went by the much less interesting 'Bill Williams')
4. Precious Valentine (a black football player at a local high school. I've heard he's very good – "A Boy Named Sue" syndrome – I hope he becomes a professional football player someday; it is a name for the record books, and I LOVE it!!)
5. Anita Knapp
6. Shannon Gannon
I believe we called him Billiams.
ReplyDeleteHi, Jay Bee! I kinda stumbled upon this blog by way of googling Shermetta Schwendimann. I've been poking around, and, wow ... prolific and funny! I'd love to follow and engage in some word play, but I also recognize the need for some boundaries in such a public forum. Just let me know if you want to keep a more crisp line drawn and I will de-list in a heartbeat.
Anyway, on the far lighter topic of names, you know how "Bobo" is a last name in the Cannon County area? Well, the names the names William Williams and Shannon Gannon always suggested to me the possibility that one day the Bobo's might produce a young sire name Bo Bobo, which is the best of the matchy-match names I can figure. Your mileage may vary, of course.
Yeppers, Billiams was his name-o. I actually ran into him pretty often in college.
ReplyDeleteNo crisp lines necessary 'round here.
Middle names add a little extra spice. Bo Bo Bobo would be lovely.
Sparky was Googling me? I find this quite interesting. How did Sparky hear of "Shermetta Schwendimann" to be Googling for me? Better yet, who's Sparky? Do tell! : )
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